Can this also include Stupid Sh*t Crackheads Do?

Well a few years ago I owned a 1980 Volvo named Barney. Barney the Volvo was this amazing tan Volvo with round headlights (my requirement upon buying said Volvo) that I bought for $900 in May of 2005. I needed a car and had a nostalgic love for old Volvos with round headlights. Never mind that when the guy (from Craigslist) showed up with the car at my place of employment at the time, with the opening line, "Oh I lost the key a while ago so it starts with a screwdriver." No joke. My coworker David, upon requesting to look under the hood exclaimed, "Oh DAMN- that is old SKIGGITY SCHOOL!!!". Needless to say, I purchased on site.

Fast forward a year and a half later. It is Thanksgiving Day 2006. I park Barney the Volvo at my friends house in Venice Beach. With both hands full of groceries as I turn to the side and kick the door shut with my left foot and say to myself - note to self - REMEMBER to come back downstairs and lock the door.

Fast forward once again to midnight Thanksgiving night. Car gone. Nowhere to be found. Police report? Reported. Imagine trying to explain to the police... nope I left the door open. The key? Oh there was none. Started with a screwdriver.

Two weeks later - Hollywood Police call to tell me they found my licence plate on a 1994 Volvo. My car is probably sold for parts in Mexico.

Fast forward one month. End of December. Driving in a borrowed Jeep. Stopped at a stoplight on Venice and Pacific one block from my house. Barney the Volvo drives by me in the right lane and takes a right down Pacific. I have the moment of... am I GODDAMN CRAZY??? I decide to follow the car because it has a broken taillight just like Barney.

I try the police department and it is Sunday. No answer. I have a couple minutes of reflection before I make the decision to actually dial 911. They will probably think I am nuts (I cannot argue) and I give the license plate number and they say it is a valid license plate number!!!

Then I say... my car was stolen and my license plate was switched with a 1994 Volvo. The car I am following is a 1980 tan Volvo. Dot. Dot. Dot.

they said "WHERE ARE YOU? That plate is coming back as stolen!!!"

I said "I am on PACIFIC heading SOUTH through the MARINA!!!!!!" and I hear a helicopter above me, and a cop four wheeler comes flying off the beach and three SUV cop cars come cruising the wrong way down speedway and surround the car and pull this crackhead out of my car a gunpoint. Right in front of me. ACK!!!

After all the hullabaloo, the cops give me my car back, with no plates, helped me kind of clean it out. Things that were in my car when I got it back that were not there before:

3 crackpipes
40 stolen credit cards
screw and bolts galore
about 10 floor mats from different cars
an army surplus backpack
empty peanut bags
all my heater and air conditioner controls switched with the radio controls

so... the point of this story is... and how it relates to The Stupid SH*T People Do is... if you are going to STEAL A CAR... TAKE A LOOK IN THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT AT THE REGISTRATION AND STAY AT LEAST A COUPLE BLOCKS AWAY FROM THE ADDRESS OF THE OWNER OF THE CAR YOU STUPID JACKASS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heehee!